tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-53379652011-11-07T13:00:14.419-05:00Suburban BlissBetter Living Through Sarcasm.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comBlogger1921100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1068043726347667282003-11-05T09:46:00.000-05:002003-11-05T09:49:11.200-05:00::Testing
Brenna is a saint and now my domain is active and it takes you to my fancy new TypePad site.
I love you Brenna.
www.suburbanbliss.net
Goodbye you fucking Banner Ads, Hello TypePad.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1067918145771818242003-11-03T22:42:00.000-05:002003-11-03T23:54:22.873-05:00::Much More Than A Store....So Much More
I paid a visit to my local Organized Living store this weekend.
Is it odd I had an orgasm while looking at this closet set up?
Organized Living is a dream of mine...someday I plan to achieve it. I think I'll start once the kids go to boarding school.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1067827108760415632003-11-02T21:29:00.000-05:002003-11-02T21:39:55.496-05:00::This Is Wrong
The soundtrack of the summer I attended driving school is chock full of way too much Richard Marx.
However, I have yet to get a speeding ticket in the last 14 years I've been driving. It's really hard to drive recklessly when you have the Richard Marx Collection running through your mind over and over.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1067644985988210282003-10-31T18:45:00.000-05:002003-10-31T19:03:17.246-05:00::Great
For the first time in the last 84 years, Halloween in Michigan is a balmy 70 degrees. It's downright tropical. In contrast, the other 84 years have been cold, very cold. Usually raining, sometimes snowing.
As a result, costumes in Michigan involve layers. Several of them. As a child, my mother continually ruined my costume by piling on clothing underneath. Coats, long underwear, Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1067544919982308772003-10-30T15:09:00.000-05:002003-10-30T15:15:29.560-05:00::I Knew It!
I always suspected this is what 'Going On Location' meant in the ad world, but now I know for sure.
FYI: Pants is 'Andy' in this scenario.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1067456432718785092003-10-29T14:15:00.000-05:002003-10-29T21:42:48.826-05:00::Trick Or Treat!
This afternoon I'll be taking the children to my husband's office to parade around in their Halloween costumes.
Once I made these really great costumes. It was my Tour De Force. A turtleneck onesie, some fiber fill, a little felt, yellow tights and feather boas and Voila! Chicken and Egg!
I'm not sure if you are aware of this, but it's no accident my initials are M.S. Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1067403016295523112003-10-28T23:43:00.000-05:002003-10-29T14:51:21.310-05:00::How Cool Is This?
I have a very talented friend and he is very good at drawing pictures. He should be selling his designs to many many greeting card companies.
We got this halloween card today, and not only is it well done...it also makes me kick myself in the ass for never having 'A Very Fez Halloween'
A drink in hand and a Fez on your head makes everything fun...even if you are Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1067317029260726672003-10-28T08:01:00.000-05:002003-10-27T23:57:14.810-05:00::Hot or Not?
Is Velma from the Scooby Doo cartoon hot? I feel so disillusioned suddenly.
I am not talking about the 'Hollywood Velma'
Just plain old Velma Dinkley.
Hot or not? Seriously.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1067313289705650112003-10-27T22:07:00.000-05:002003-10-27T22:57:17.810-05:00::I've something up my sleeve...
It's certainly nothing very exciting like the big Que Sera Sera move to Queserasera.org. But for me it is.
I went to Movable Type and asked them to free me of my Banner Ad heckling.
Brenna, a tech support gal, heard my cry, and she tried. Really she did. She was attentive and seemed amused by my frazzled nature. When I said, 'Explain this to me like I'm a Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1066934071193394552003-10-23T13:59:00.000-04:002003-10-23T14:34:30.990-04:00::'Why did you push me down Mommy?'
This guy had a really interesting and well written thought to write about. You can read it here.
I already read it and when I went to make my comment to it, I remembered a really good story along the same lines.
There is a lot of crying and yelling in my house. Dinner time involves a lot of crying as the children and Pants poke their food with their Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1066846111233093212003-10-22T14:06:00.000-04:002003-10-22T14:08:31.246-04:00::Memory Lane
Our engagement party invites designed by my lovely husband with nothing more than a computer, a photo booth and a very lovely ring.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1066763688354758402003-10-21T15:05:00.000-04:002003-10-21T15:16:15.033-04:00::This must be all over the blogging world...
I got this from Pants via his boyfriend John.
Thanks guys...aren't they sweet?
Arnold Is ComingMelissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1066760126018101292003-10-21T14:09:00.000-04:002003-10-21T14:15:25.940-04:00::He's got another thing coming...
If my son thinks 2 years and 7 months is long enough to nap in the middle of the day...I'd like him to sit down and have a chat with my nicer, funnier sister in law...who at 30 something still naps in the middle of the day, that is, when she's not 'working the bears'
Dear God, I know I only come to you in times of crisis, but I know you understand. You know Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1066671364244667552003-10-20T13:33:00.000-04:002003-10-20T13:36:03.853-04:00::thinking
My cats would love me if I made pajamas out of this fabric.
That is all.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1066337364515874702003-10-16T16:47:00.001-04:002003-10-16T17:18:42.126-04:00::Vacation, Though I Use The Term Loosely
How to sum up the wild ride that was the 'Summers End Of Summer Vacation'?
.....
By the mayhem it looks like this:
No sleep, crying children who panic if not sleeping in their own rooms. Huh, kids of mine who don't adjust well to change? That's so odd.
A shower with only scalding hot water. So hot in fact that it set off the smoke alarm. No big Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1065792398940299692003-10-10T09:10:00.000-04:002003-10-10T09:29:49.613-04:00::On Vacation....Finally
As I type I'm sitting out on some lovely adirondack chairs, overlooking Little Traverse Bay...drinking a bloody mary, waiting for Pants to finish the waffles we'll be eating. We're up at the cabin of a friend, in Sutton's Bay (take your left hand, hold it up...we're right above your pinky...kind of at the top knuckle of your ring finger...I love living in Michigan). WeMelissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1065639460558692572003-10-08T14:56:00.000-04:002003-10-09T16:44:36.766-04:00::My brother stole my diary
I swear I had this exact dairy and the entries were so similar it is truly scary and sad and cute all at once.
***Update: I've gotten a couple of emails about my spelling of Diary. Have you looked at the link. The young author spells Diary 'Dairy' which is exactly how I spelled Diary as an 8 year old. Work with me.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1065636036348228582003-10-08T13:48:00.000-04:002003-10-08T14:06:07.633-04:00::the feline beings
Today, the black cat looked at me and said, with a totally straight face:
'You know, it's not like your shit don't stink.'
I started to argue with the cat, but then I realized you can never win an argument with a cat. Something I have in common with cats since you can never win an argument with me either. Also I stare eerily into your soul.
Anyway I've decided maybe I've Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1065534603928163502003-10-07T09:41:00.000-04:002003-10-07T09:53:37.860-04:00::The Magic's Gone?
I know it's silly to compare my relationship to other's relationships. It just that I read this and ever since then...
I mean I still love my iBook and he still makes me feel really good. He warms my lap like no one else and that glowing apple...still says 'I Love You'. But it's just we never talk all night. Sometimes I don't even think my iBook understands me at all. Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1065370289970627982003-10-05T12:01:00.000-04:002003-10-05T12:14:15.830-04:00::I Prefer Showering Alone
I'm really glad people get married. I'm so thankful that people I like or am even aquainted with find their true loves and decide to walk down the aisle together. Weddings are happy and joyful and remind me of how I felt when I started this little adventure and I'm happy to see other souls full of that same joy.
I just have a couple of problems...
Why do we have toMelissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1065155558328175032003-10-03T00:33:00.000-04:002003-10-03T00:53:26.310-04:00::I don't get it.
If our cats were of American Indian descent...they would be named something like...
Eats-Like-Pig
Annoying-As-Hell
Smells-Like-Shit
Loud-and-Crazy
Cat-Like-Skunk
I swear to God...if you listen closely...they snort like little pigs while they eat (all day every day....they never stop eating). Also...these furry things can fart on command which is a lot like what I imagine Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1065067652371635312003-10-02T00:05:00.000-04:002003-10-02T00:14:29.366-04:00::I Did Not Love The 80's
If I could go back in time, I would march right back to 1988 or so.
First I would tell Me to stop doing horrid things to my hair. The Hair Crisis of '89 comes to mind...a perm and highlight gone so horribly awry it hurts me to look at it. Even the adorable baby in my lap doesn't change the fact that I did a horrid thing to myself and my hair still has not forgiven me.
Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1065059991766316292003-10-01T21:47:00.000-04:002003-10-01T22:01:53.790-04:00::It all makes sense now.
I don't know how or why it happened...but today it all made sense.
Since the first day of school the kindergartner has been talking about her favorite game at school, 'Living Sinus' or 'Sinus' for short. I couldn't imagine what on earth she was playing at school.
I did have a thought that it was like the Colossal Colon, but instead of a colon it was a larger than Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1065053075379282072003-10-01T19:59:00.005-04:002003-10-01T21:36:08.700-04:00Up in the attic today, I found our engagement photos.
Yes, they're photo booth shots, and yes we used them for our engagement party invitations...I'll show you those sometime. This was before we had our friend Joe.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1064980841802837842003-09-30T23:41:00.000-04:002003-10-01T00:03:46.893-04:00::Lessons In High Living
As my brother prepared to start 'Fireman School' he realized he does not have a social security card. Odd that he hasn't needed it up to now, perhaps he hasn't had a job since high school when he lost it. He has been leaving everyday to 'Go to work' as a mortgage banker when really he was sitting in his car at the end of the street sleeping. My nicer, funnier sister in Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1064949595382722832003-09-30T15:11:00.000-04:002003-09-30T15:20:15.500-04:00::Quick...
Do I need to stop my children from saying 'What the....'?
They never finish the statement...but is the kindergarten teacher silently judging my horrendous parenting skills?
Also, Pants and I like to say 'Hot!' (in a rather high pitched voice) at things that are either 'hot' or things that are unbelievably not 'hot'. The kindergarten child is now saying it also. We saw a runner at Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1064803907893066782003-09-28T22:25:00.000-04:002003-09-28T23:43:54.020-04:00::Distressing
How could anyone think something with the word 'Congealed' in the title could ever be good to eat?
When I typed 'Congealed' into the Google image search...this poor woman's picture came up. I think that is the saddest thing I've seen all week.
Speaking of gross things.
Why didn't anyone ever tell me cats shit this much? At least they're doing it in the litter box, however, I Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1064462045932593552003-09-24T23:52:00.000-04:002003-09-24T23:54:15.316-04:00::When i said
I was taking up knitting, this is what Pants pictured.
It hasn't worked out like that at all.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1064451708833053652003-09-24T20:47:00.000-04:002003-09-24T21:06:09.446-04:00::I Think I'm In Love, Or I've Watched Too Much VH1
The 'I Love The (fill in the blank here)' series has become the source of my current love affairs...
Mo Rocca,
Hal Sparks
and
Michael Ian Black
They all make me laugh...everytime I watch an 'I Love The (fill in the blank)' show. Sometimes I've seen the show 43 times and still I laugh. At this point they could say simply 'What's up Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1064374693096823362003-09-23T23:34:00.000-04:002003-09-23T23:38:12.876-04:00::New Lows
Is there any reason a beer bottle is missing a twist off cap? I realize there are a lot more important issues in this world. But really, couldn't we start with this one? It'd be so easy to solve.
I'm a very busy person, I don't have time for bottle openers.
Damn it, I am one lazy bitch.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1064336556162475912003-09-23T12:59:00.000-04:002003-09-23T13:02:36.330-04:00::Who's Ass Do I Have To Kiss?
Can someone help me please. It seems Yahoo Webhosting is not only fairly pricey, it is also totally ineffectual for anything I would like to use it for.
Moveable Type can not be loaded because there is some issue with Yahoo's Perl.
Where should I park my domain and get my webhosting?Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1064255419388960512003-09-22T14:28:00.000-04:002003-09-22T14:35:13.523-04:00Something More Absurd
More absurd than me belting out 'Crazy In Love' as though it touches some deep spot in my soul, is watching Oprah learn how to shake her ass like Beyonce. Watching Oprah shake it....wrong.
The drive...by the numbers:
Hours in the drive: 4.5
Number of hours I listened to the radio on scan= 4.5 hours
In Which Time I heard:
'Crazy In Love'= 4 times
Late 60's early 70's Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1063999150416234582003-09-19T15:04:00.000-04:002003-09-19T15:19:10.296-04:00::Things I Don't Like
I do not like shades of gray. Gray belongs in a hospital ward, not coloring my life.
I do not like vague answers about things that are anything but vague.
I do not like feeling unsettled.
I do not like feeling afraid of what comes next...
Since I'm leaving for Indianapolis in a few hours, I'll know what comes next, and then, and then some more....a long straight and boringMelissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1063921321764574822003-09-18T17:40:00.000-04:002003-09-18T17:42:09.433-04:00::Hi, is this Movable Type.org?
No, I did not intend to post the same thing 40 times. Thank you Blogger!
Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1063912198703702022003-09-18T15:09:00.000-04:002003-09-18T20:12:09.176-04:00::Headline: Banner Ads Force Couple To Make Up
My banner ads have become that meddling friend who stirs the pot and tries to create friction. This meddling friend has taken Pants' Jackassery and started questioning my children's paternity. This meddling friend has mentioned 'Divorce' across the top of my little web space.
The final straw came one moment ago when my banner ad was for 'Hot Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1063850035697121852003-09-17T21:51:00.000-04:002003-09-17T21:54:03.943-04:00::Dear God
Please note my current banner ads.
At my last check there was a 'Who is the father?' Paternity testing link.
I may be pissed off at Pants, but that would be a tad bit over the top really.
Also, under 'Related Searches': "Relationship Trouble"
Which is true but makes me feel somehow indignant.
Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1063847776834585922003-09-17T21:12:00.000-04:002003-09-17T21:16:16.880-04:00::Absurd
I don't think there is much in this world as absurd as me listening to and truly enjoying a Beyonce Knowles song titled 'Crazy In Love'.
I know how stupid it is, how stupid it looks and yet I am inexplicably drawn to make an ass of myself singing along.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1063673600823498382003-09-15T20:37:00.000-04:002003-09-15T21:01:14.743-04:00::What Not To Do
I've outlined before 'How To Have A Fabulous Labor Day Weekend'.
In contrast I would like to spend today outlining 'How Not To Spend Your 30th Birthday'
To begin with, don't stay up until 3 am arguing with your loving and usually perfect spouse.
Next, do not spend the day doing absolutely nothing different than any other day in your life. Including dealing with a constipatedMelissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1063374432009664462003-09-12T09:45:00.000-04:002003-09-12T09:47:12.010-04:00::Happy Birthday
Dear Logan,
Thanks so much for the fabulous birthday. I really appreciate it.
Is this my welcome into 30? Because if it is. Damn, it sucks.
Thanks! Your loving wife.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1063300958384915472003-09-11T13:17:00.000-04:002003-09-11T13:22:38.383-04:00::Fuck You, My Birthday Was Yesterday
My birthday is coming, tomorrow. But first we have to endure another anniversary of 9/11/01.
I could make this post very sad and very inspired...because all of that goes on in my head as we hit September each year. Each year I remember all that emotion, all that terror, all that uncertainty. I could go into that, but I assume that will be well covered Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1063215291455095532003-09-10T13:34:00.000-04:002003-09-10T13:34:59.443-04:00::Back To School
After a lifetime of dreaming and nearly a year of testing, interviewing and strutting his stuff, my brother is finally heading off to Fireman's School on September 22nd. On September 21st, my smarter, funnier sister in law is taking out a very large insurance policy on her dear husband.
Congratulations Big Brother. Oh, someone else wanted to say "Congrats and welcome to the Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1063130275962995742003-09-09T13:57:00.000-04:002003-09-09T13:57:55.836-04:00::Cats
The entire left side of my face has broken out in a itchy rash. I assume this has happened because the sweet, nice cat we picked out on Saturday has an affinity for either laying across my lap and laptop or laying on my shoulder with it's body against my face.
He's very sweet and quiet and he listens when I say 'no'. So I can live with my rash filled face. The non stop itching and Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1063045167070740002003-09-08T14:19:00.000-04:002003-09-08T14:19:27.083-04:00::Decided.
My body would make so much more sense if I were pregnant. As a not pregnant person I am crossing over into the realm of fat middle aged mother. If I were still pregnant...I'd be a pretty hot pregnant lady.
But I'm not pregnant, I'm going to be 30 and I'm never going to be pregnant again....On top of that, I really hate to sweat, ever. So I'll never be 'Shrinking' like Pants.
Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1062806151230500232003-09-05T19:55:00.000-04:002003-09-05T19:55:51.076-04:00::Colorectal Tour Arrives in Detroit
Gross
So Totally Gross
Though somehow terribly amusing watching adults crawl through colons on their hands and knees.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1062641763616964472003-09-03T22:16:00.000-04:002003-09-04T13:06:53.590-04:00::A Recipe
Here's a surefire way to have a great Labor Day Weekend.
Go to your friend's mom's house for her big 50's party...to celebrate her new basement, totally remodeled by her son to look like a 50's diner, complete with a 'Soda Jerker' station as John calls it.
Drink a little, watch an Elvis impersonator perform. Wonder aloud if you've been roofied because the Elvis performance is so Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1062189182322714772003-08-29T16:33:00.000-04:002003-08-30T14:20:26.903-04:00::If...
If I get one more email with any of the following words within the body of the email, I can not be held accountable for my actions.
*'Just an FYI...' [Subtext: You've made a mistake and I am pointing it out.]
*'I don't know if you noticed, but....' [Subtext: I noticed this mistake you've made and I am pointing it out to you...]
*'Just a couple of things' [that all involve your job Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1062140411486414912003-08-29T03:00:00.000-04:002003-08-29T03:00:11.476-04:00::My Red Shoe Diary
I was trying to think of days worse than today. I came up with this:
'The Day I Wore A Halloween Costume To School, But It Wasn't Halloween and I Wasn't Being Ironic.'
In the third grade I owned a blue and white gingham dress. I loved that dress.
One day, my 'friend' gave me a pair of red shoes, they had the highest heel I'd ever been allowed to wear (a half an inch...Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1062112105394777242003-08-28T19:08:00.000-04:002003-08-28T19:08:25.403-04:00::Stressed
I am eleventy stressed out. This is not good.
Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1062006335388434882003-08-27T13:45:00.000-04:002003-08-27T13:45:35.416-04:00::Eleventy Good!
Upon pick up my daughter announced kindergarten was 'Fun! More fun than Toys R Us, it was Eleventy Good.'
Which has to be pretty good, since it's a new number no one really talks about, except when it's really important.
Also today I realized: I am too snobby to be poor and too poor to be snobby. I'm in social class limbo. Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1061863472905364652003-08-25T22:04:00.000-04:002003-08-25T22:04:42.640-04:00::Kindergarten
I was going to try and make this funny, but I can't.
I've been so excited for kindergarten to start. My daughter is bored of me, she's bored of my entertainment attempts, she's ripe for learning, I'm tired of entertaining her, I'm ready for a break. It looks so win win from a distance.
Today we went for our first day/open house. Ever since we went, my eyelid has been Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1061607663513779992003-08-22T23:01:00.000-04:002003-08-22T23:01:24.336-04:00::$108 Later
I can think of 50 things off the top of my head I could happily spend $100 (and $8 parking) doing. In that quick list of 50, you will not see 'I would love to spend $100 plus $8 parking to see The Wiggles, especially live.' However, not one of those things I could have bought would have given my children the unbridled joy of seeing grown men dancing around like a bunch of sweating, Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1061407871127375862003-08-20T15:31:00.000-04:002003-08-20T15:33:03.156-04:00::An Open Letter
Dear Australia,
First I would like to apologize for giving you Oprah. It was wrong of us to subject you to the Oprah lifestyle. I am deeply sorry.
I was told once that Foster's beer was shipped to the United States from Australia as a 'Thank you' for Oprah. I thought we'd accepted Foster's graciously, you know it's not very good beer in all honesty, but I haven't complained Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1061353028835422142003-08-20T00:17:00.000-04:002003-08-20T00:17:49.580-04:00::The Summers Summer, 2003
Running, Picnics, Indy, Chicago....Bugs?Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1061316498035863152003-08-19T14:08:00.000-04:002003-08-19T14:08:18.040-04:00::Two Additional Things I Like About Detroit, and Another Thing I Don't Like
I like: The White Stripes, and the fact that we have a road called "Big Beaver" and the exit off I-75 is number 69. Who did that? We also have Mound Rd and Van Dyke. Someone was a little randy while planning the 'burbs.
The other thing I thought of I don't like: Elizabeth Berkley was spawned here.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1061316182461684852003-08-19T14:03:00.000-04:002003-08-19T14:10:12.510-04:00::What Kind Of A Monster?
Two women live in the rental across the street. One has a boyfriend. He looks a lot like Moby. He's very kind, probably the kindest person in the neighborhood and he doesn't even live here.
I'm feeling really bad because I can't help making fun of the stupid 'Fanny Pack' he wears. I know it's petty, but really should any man be wearing a fanny pack in the year Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1061228651169255182003-08-18T13:44:00.000-04:002003-08-18T13:45:20.276-04:00::Brought To My Attention
Someone has pointed out the long term lack of additions to my Tickle Me/Irritate me lists.
This is done by default because I am saving all my great ideas for the launch of my newly designed website. This launch is taking quite a while because I do not have 30 different versions of myself to run around doing all that needs doing.
Well, there's that plus the fact thatMelissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1061181759398252102003-08-18T00:42:00.000-04:002003-08-18T00:42:39.383-04:00::Am I a walking billboard for abstinence?
I realized today that none of my friends have kids. I realized this when one of my favorite friends announced they were pregnant and I nearly tripped over myself in my haste to offer to throw them a shower.
You see I am baby deprived now that my husband has (blissfully) been rendered sperm free. I'm happy to be moving on but I am also a little Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1061010308959131302003-08-16T01:05:00.000-04:002003-08-16T01:08:08.536-04:00::Is The Honeymoon Over?
Over the last 28 hours, my iBook and I have had our first fight. We lost power over that time frame and it became rapidly clear that I love my air conditioning far more than I will ever love this iBook, cute logo, glowing apple and all.
Over the last 28 hours I sweat more than anyone should ever sweat. I lived like a twisted pioneer woman...with a battery powered Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1060869644757761412003-08-14T10:00:00.000-04:002003-08-14T10:05:20.140-04:00::Do These Make You Want To Go To Church?
I sometimes wish I could be the guy in charge of putting up those clever sayings on the church marquee....
I've seen some pretty clever ones, like 'CH--CH' What's Missing? UR!'
I've been thinking of some pretty clever church messages myself. Like:
'We know what is best for everyone!'
'Free Body of Christ...and a little wine too!'
'Free Doughnuts.'Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1060822988755585612003-08-13T21:03:00.000-04:002003-08-13T21:13:30.216-04:00::Things I love about Michigan
I love all this stuff
I love this beer.
I love that this is here.
I'm also glad that all of this is here.
I'm happy our zoo has this exhibit.
I love Dally In The Alley
I love Corktown.
Mexican Town
Feather bowling at Cadieux Cafe. It's a fun thing to do and it also explains the purpose of Belgium.
Up North
Traverse City....in the fall and in the summer.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1060720055361110542003-08-12T16:27:00.000-04:002003-08-12T16:28:01.276-04:00::Comfort Objects
I once nearly killed my husband when he left our daughter's comfort object 45 miles away at his parents home. In my defense, I was pregnant at the time and perhaps a little hormonally hyper sensitive to losing sleep with a crying 2 year old looking for 'Chutney The Monkey'. But I was really mean to him instead of actually killing him.
I searched high and low to find a Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1060717406723056112003-08-12T15:43:00.000-04:002003-08-13T09:43:13.890-04:00::Things I Like About Texas Besides The Fact That My Favorite Person Has Left Me For It. (And one more little thing I don't like about people in general)
I'll take the last part first.
I don't like people who can't laugh at the stupid stereotypes about their great state. I don't like people who can't laugh and who actually get angry instead. Thank God no one from Gary reads my entries. At Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1060700656995339002003-08-12T11:04:00.000-04:002003-08-12T11:04:16.896-04:00::Eeks, Don't Fucking Mess With Texas!
Whoa
To appease my Texan readers....I will later refer to all the lovely things about Texas. I've actually always loved Texas...that was until my best friend left me for Texas. I'm bitter and a little angry with Texas at the moment. But later today...after I go to the airport to see my favorite person in the world off on her move 1000's of miles from meMelissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1060612921652911012003-08-11T10:42:00.000-04:002003-08-11T10:45:25.560-04:00::Deer Harassment
I live in the midst of suburbia. There is absolutely nothing rural about the area I live in. We're about 20 miles and one terribly shitty city government away from Detroit.
Yesterday, out our window we saw a deer go strolling down the sidewalk. Later we saw it running down the road in front of our house, most likely being chased by the white trash children down the streetMelissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1060378952311693632003-08-08T17:42:00.000-04:002003-08-08T17:42:32.296-04:00::Today I Hate Everything About Texas
At this moment I hate every single thing about Texas.
I hate that Texas spawned all things Bush.
I hate that it's so annoyingly huge.
I hate the big hair.
I hate all that make up.
I hate all the bedazzling.
I hate the bugs that never die, they just keep growing.
I hate that it's 1000 degrees there.
I hate the accent.
I hate those stupid belt buckles.
I hate Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1060210505786856262003-08-06T18:55:00.000-04:002003-08-06T18:55:05.760-04:00::Odd
Dorothy and Dorothy, collectively known as 'The Dorothies' are no more. They were hearty fish, these versions of 'The Dorothies' we had for nearly 2 years now. But finally Dorothy couldn't take life in the bowl and flung herself to her death on the kitchen floor where she suffocated.
Her longtime companion, Dorothy tried to stoically continue on...but when we introduced a new fish....a Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1060105223446330752003-08-05T13:40:00.000-04:002003-08-05T13:40:45.190-04:00::Say It Without Uttering A Word
Bitter MomMelissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1060003069327125972003-08-04T09:17:00.000-04:002003-08-04T09:17:49.326-04:00::The Prize Is Mine
You know, when I said this I really was just kidding.
Last week someone from 'un.org' browsed my site, not once but three times.
I am thinking some low level worker is really considering giving a presentation on the value of all UN members wearing a little Lands End playsuit to all meetings. I hope he doesn't get fired. I hope he doesn't really believe Lands End playsuits Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1059790904191017682003-08-01T22:21:00.000-04:002003-08-04T09:20:05.816-04:00::I Do Not Have What It Takes
Last weekend my Ever Shrinking Husband ran a 10K. While watching the runners go by from my comfortable post under the shade of a tree...I wondered why one would do this....
I saw a woman run by who was literally moaning a little like I did during childbirth. She also looked nearly as unhappy as I did during childbirth, but for her there was no hope of an epiduralMelissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1059676491696911132003-07-31T14:34:00.000-04:002003-07-31T14:34:51.570-04:00::Just One Look
It's here.
When the little apple on the cover lights up does it mean my laptop feels the same way about me as I do about it?
Because I think it loves me. I really do. Which is good because my husband no longer loves me.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1059592612640560252003-07-30T15:16:00.000-04:002003-07-30T15:18:51.586-04:00::Cooking's Not For Everyone
My very favorite cooking stories involve two hapless husbands (who will remain nameless to protect them from public humiliation).
The first husband was cooking a dinner and the recipe read, 'Reduce sauce by one half.'
He proceeded to pour one half of the sauce down the drain.
The second husband attempted to cook dinner for his family and read in the first stepMelissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1059509330891164862003-07-29T16:08:00.000-04:002003-07-30T15:20:38.256-04:00::Beautiful Dreamer
I call my bedside table my "Table Of Dreams"
In the past I've had "Taking Charge Of Your Fertility" on that table....dreaming I'd get pregnant.
I've had an entire library of books about children sleeping through the night on the Table Of Dreams. I'd read them at night when my son was a baby. I'd read them and fantasize about what it would be like to sleep...Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1059365478498072202003-07-28T00:11:00.000-04:002003-07-29T16:29:47.806-04:00::My Goldfish Is Pissed Off
We bought a little something to go in the fish bowl. It's a Sponge Bob. It's about 3 inches high. Not very big by my 66 inch standards, but let's just say for a moment you are a fish. You live in a bowl that holds about 4 cups of water.
I'd say having a 6 inch tall SpongeBob in the middle of your living room is a bit of a pain in the ass, if your living room is Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1059184341106043262003-07-25T21:52:00.000-04:002003-07-25T21:58:56.243-04:00::Making Me Dizzy
Two things are currently making me dizzy.
I am attempting to withdraw from zoloft. I truly love zoloft with all my heart, but it's time we parted ways. It's been two and a half lovely years but he just keeps asking more and more of me. Or rather my insurance company keeps asking more and more from us. With the air conditioning settled in our house, I realize it's time to Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1059102282131794722003-07-24T23:04:00.000-04:002003-07-24T23:04:42.096-04:00::If I were a MayFly
A Mayfly's life looks like this (in simplified terms)
Born
Eat
Copulate
Die
My last year (in brief biography looks like this):
"Cut it out."
"Don't."
"Be Nice."
"Shhh"
"SHHHHHHH"
Mind Numbing
"My ears need a rest"
"No Biting!"
"Madison!!!"
"Maxwell Logan Summers!!!!"
Describe your year in 25 words or less. Damn I hope it's better than mine.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1059016211646482122003-07-23T23:10:00.000-04:002003-07-23T23:10:29.893-04:00::I Am Lazy
Would you like to hear about my attempt to raise money for Multiple Sclerosis? Of course you would.
Logan decided to do a bike ride for MS and since we were kind of newly dating, I thought to myself, 'Never mind the fact that I hate physical activity, never mind the fact I hate sweating, let's ride 150 miles in the heat of July. Better yet....let's not train for this ride at all,Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1059008159917681972003-07-23T20:55:00.000-04:002003-07-24T00:05:10.106-04:00::Translation?
Today a friend stopped by while the family and I were on the porch eating a really nasty dinner called 'Burrito Casserole' Something about this friend's visit made my children wind up and go in for the frantically talking kill. I almost did an intervention thinking they had a drug problem gone terribly wrong.
Anyway, this friend pointed out that while my daughter talks, my son Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1058993672113418512003-07-23T16:54:00.000-04:002003-07-23T17:06:10.880-04:00::The Queen
Yes, The Queen is back. Before I pictured this computer as a bitchy woman with a fiery and unpredictable temprement. I've changed my view of The Queen. I've now decided this stupid piece of garbage is actually a very grumpy, tempremental, whiney and rather aged gay man.
This at least makes me smile while The Queen crashes on me in mid sentence. I can at least smile imagining Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1058810271494824152003-07-21T13:57:00.000-04:002003-07-21T14:00:30.150-04:00::Driving Insane::
As it turns out it was not the 'uh huh's' that caused me to lose hold of my fragile grip on my sanity.
It was actually a 2.5 hour back up on the toll road out of Chicago. There is nothing like a two and a half hour back up where they actually charge you two dollars for the God Damn privilege of inching your way through the stinking mess that is Gary, Indiana.
The thing is,Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1058460150588490462003-07-17T12:42:00.000-04:002003-07-17T12:42:30.456-04:00::Uh Huh::
I have three big fears about the drive I am about to embark on.
1. I am afraid I will get a flat, because I had a tire replaced this week and the jack asses at the car place somehow broke the item that holds my spare in place. It felt really good to hear the mechanic say, 'Well, we're not exactly sure what happened.' File under: Things you don't want your mechanic to say.
2. GaryMelissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1058413737894913732003-07-16T23:48:00.000-04:002003-07-16T23:58:00.116-04:00::I Wish I Had This Job::There are just so very many things I love about Mr. LunchMelissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1058335431807828002003-07-16T02:03:00.000-04:002003-07-16T02:05:41.703-04:00::Miss Michigan, Meet Florida::
Florida and Michigan together are really just a hand job. Think about it.
Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1058302486746207582003-07-15T16:54:00.000-04:002003-07-15T16:59:00.303-04:00::More Mowing Moaning::
I pulled the lawn mower out this afternoon and as it turns out....we have something called a 'Franken-Mower'
Our mower is like a trashy car with mismatched side panels and hood. We got an electric mower from a friend years ago when we moved in. Logan absolutely refused to mow a lawn with an electric mower. He truly believed the size of his penis would diminish if he Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1058232580055887302003-07-14T21:29:00.000-04:002003-07-14T21:33:06.413-04:00::Do You Find This Odd?::
I will be 30 years old in September. I have never once in my entire life mowed a lawn.
I don't think it's odd, I think it's the sign of a very shrewd mind. Growing up my brother mowed the lawn, then I went to college and a lovely lawn boy took care of the lawn and finally, I was married and my charming husband now mows the lawn.
Typically. Unless he's buried in Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1058144109275228182003-07-13T20:55:00.000-04:002003-07-13T20:55:09.236-04:00::Weather::
My significant other left for Lake Tahoe today. He left a car full of crying people. The children cried because they will miss him terribly, I cried because facing another five days and a six hour drive to Chicago alone with my children is really overwhelming me at the moment.
Here is the weather for Tahoe this week.
I'm actually starting to wonder why they even have a weather Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1058074957887601912003-07-13T01:42:00.000-04:002003-07-13T01:48:57.910-04:00::My Uterus Is Aching
If you would like to have a baby, please click here.
**Warning: you will spontaneously lactate**
If you would like to remember why it is you are done having babies, please click here.
Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1057953988710108062003-07-11T16:06:00.000-04:002003-07-11T16:08:53.850-04:00::Things You'd Rather Not Hear At Your Wedding
During the vows:
*'Sure'
*'Uh.....'
*'Well...all right'
*'What ring?'
At the reception:
*Pretty much any sentence that starts with 'Oops'
*'What cake?'
*'Is your mother in law wearing chinos?'
*Any version of the Hokey Pokey.
*Anything by Milli Vanilli.
*Your new mother in law, saying anything except 'Congratulations'
On your wedding night:
*'WhatMelissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1057946938749366942003-07-11T14:08:00.000-04:002003-07-11T14:16:08.336-04:00::Then/Now
Today is the anniversary of the day my darling husband and I tied the knot. The contrast of that day 6 years ago and my day today has been entirely startling.
Six years ago, the weather was beautiful, no humidity, sunny, warm but not hot. Today, it's really rather cold, windy and entirely overcast.
Six years ago, I woke up very early because the anticipation of this long awaited Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1057810913823236762003-07-10T00:21:00.000-04:002003-07-10T00:21:53.783-04:00::Currently
Is it odd that my children love these two songs?
'Mambo Italiano' by Rosemary Clooney and 'It's Getting Hot In Here' by Nelly?
I've just made a mix CD for our trip to Chicago...and those two songs are on it.
Speaking of which, does my sister want to travel to Chicago a week from Friday?Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1057804585700211922003-07-09T22:36:00.000-04:002003-07-09T22:37:02.093-04:00::A Quick Hello
It seems appropriate that I say hello to a few of my current readers....
Hello to my reader out of Sacramento, CA at the domain name 'Lanset.com'!
Hello to my reader out of Connecticut at the domain Attbi!
And a Howdy to a reader from an un named domain out of Dallas/Ft Worth, Texas!
Gosh, I didn't know you cared so much about me ladies.
Sarcasm Lesson #2: See above.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1057803973162162382003-07-09T22:26:00.000-04:002003-07-09T22:30:13.953-04:00::I Still Believe
I have a very dear friend, Patti, who was once talking to her mother about the fact that her family doesn't always seem to understand her humor.
Her mother replied, 'I think you're funny, tell me a joke.'
Patti said, 'Well, a lot of time I think sarcasm is really funny.'
Her mother says, 'Who is that? I've never heard of him.'
I truly love sarcasm. If he actually was a Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1057695862432083002003-07-08T16:24:00.000-04:002003-07-08T16:29:04.380-04:00::Just Imagine::
Wouldn't life be so much better if you could Photoshop reality?
The first thing I'd do is stick my head on Elle McPherson's body, march out to the swim club, and I'd do this without a single margarita to get my courage up.
Also, I'd never make Logan iron again....I'd simply smooth out all those pesky wrinkles with a swift move of the mouse.
I'd change the color of my house. Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1057632617701210542003-07-07T22:50:00.000-04:002003-07-07T22:51:57.920-04:00::If One Has Nothing To Say, What Does One Say?::
I like something that is really disgusting and against all the laws of God and Nature.
Reduced Fat Velveeta Shells and Cheese with a can of tuna fish mixed in.
Just seeing it written there makes me feel like vomiting, but truly I love it.
What really makes me laugh is the fact that as a child my mother once mixed green peas into my macaroni andMelissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1057516550405225302003-07-06T14:35:00.000-04:002003-07-06T14:35:50.293-04:00::I Now Know::
I now know why I've been so content and happy lately. It's the air conditioning. I'm so thankful. This house is downright chilly. I love going outside, sweating my ass off and relishing the fact that when I go back inside...it's going to be brisk in our little bungalow turned igloo.
Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1057513237159845152003-07-06T13:40:00.000-04:002003-07-06T13:42:57.416-04:00::My Nobel Peace Prize::
I truly believe if all world leaders were required to wear one of these adorable Lands' End playsuits to all peace talks, there would be peace in our time. Wearing these little suits (in bright and fun colors) would be a great equalizer among all nations, leveling the playing field making everyone look as stupid and ridiculous as the next guy. Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1057432810811467422003-07-05T15:20:00.000-04:002003-07-05T15:21:04.336-04:00::Prediction::
Someday, sooner, rather than later, Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen will be featured in a nude layout in Playboy magazine.
This will happen as soon as Walmart stops carrying their line of clothing and accessories and as soon as 8 year old girls stop buying their odd, 'straight to video' movies.
It tugs at my heart strings just a little to think of them doing it, not because I think Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1057344126187785362003-07-04T14:42:00.000-04:002003-07-04T14:45:11.583-04:00::Let's Just Say::
I've been thinking...what if all this therapy works and it turns out I'm not sarcastic at all, I'm not cynical about everything? What if it turns out I adore being a parent and everything that goes with that?
What if instead of finding my job really irritating...I love it so much I want to eat my children up by the spoonful every single day? What if I actually become one of Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1057262077102519602003-07-03T15:54:00.000-04:002003-07-03T15:57:23.120-04:00:: The Ice Cream Man::
Is it just me or does everyone have supersonic hearing when it comes to the Ice Cream Man jingle? I can hear him from miles and miles away.
Is it just me or does everyone have a Pavlovian response to the Ice Cream Truck? I feel like a dog everytime I hear that catchy tune. My instinct to get ice cream kicks in.
Is it just me or are some of the saddest memories of your Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1057165591133696712003-07-02T13:06:00.000-04:002003-07-02T13:10:18.490-04:00::Words That Sound Sexual, But Aren't Necessarily::
On a road trip with friends, we used our two way radios to communicate between the two vehicles. The drive was fairly boring, and we really didn't have that much to communicate since we had spent an entire weekend together, so instead we shared words that weren't necessarily sexual, but sound like it.
It has forever changed the way I use my Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5337965.post-1057081125483660612003-07-01T13:38:00.000-04:002003-07-01T13:39:05.180-04:00::Today I Like This::
After spending the weekend with my brother and his wife, who are in a heated competition with my husband and I for the title of "The Bickerson's", I really didn't think it possible for someone to argue more than the four of us.
Well, we've met our match.
Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About
Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12610014550284686344noreply@blogger.com